What kind of homeschooler are you, any way? Part 1 of 2: Why do you homeschool?
No, this isn't meant to be the sort of insulting question one homeschooling parent hurls at another, upon some shocking discovery. (And, please, can we NOT do that? Ever? Thank you.)
This is the sort of question that acknowledges that in the wide world of homeschooling, there are varied -- and very personal -- reasons, arguments, and convictions. In the homeschooling nation, there are tribes.
The Venn diagrams of overlapping ways to describe various approaches to homeschooling would look like a glorious Spirograph creation. Some homeschoolers fit neatly and easily into one and only one tribe, never second guessing, always perfectly confident and perfectly content. Let's say for the sake of argument that I am not one of those people. Some people find themselves identifying with many tribes, and we end up calling those people eclectic because they roam from tribe to tribe, picking up customs and habits as they go along, and collecting the most wonderful group of friends along the way. Let's say for the sake of argument that I am one of those people, which is why I feel I can speak somewhat intelligently on this topic.
First -- it is helpful to think about why you're homeschooling. Why did you start? What reasons, if any, would lead you to stop? Before you dive into the joys of shopping for curriculum, take a moment to define what you're doing and why. It will help you through the nitty gritty of those difficult days.
Some families feel led, or even convicted, to homeschool -- and only homeschool -- on a spiritual level. On a really tough day, or a collection of really tough days also known as February, a conviction that homeschooling for you is a calling will keep your focus on "how", not "if". If you feel convicted or led to homeschool on this level, don't apologize for it or second guess it. It is a valid reason to homeschool, if for absolutely no other reason than it is your reason. (I have so much more to say on this topic, and on the topic of being humble enough to acknowledge if your convictions later change, but I will save that for my personal blog.)
Some families choose homeschooling for purely secular reasons: education, activities, family time, opportunity to travel, flexibility, special needs, objection to standardized testing, avoidance of group projects, or the overwhelming desire to sleep past 6:30 am on a regular basis. Honestly, any one of those or any other reasons are good enough reasons to homeschool. If you find yourself homeschooling for one or some of these reasons, you may find it healthy to reevaluate from time to time. Is homeschooling, in fact, still serving your purpose? Or has it become homeschooling by default? Maybe you want to keep homeschooling, but you've realized that now you have different compelling reasons.
Here are some general suggestions as you contemplate your philosophy of homeschooling:
1. Make sure your words are gracious, for someday, you may eat them. Seek to be polite and kind enough in discussing your decision to homeschool that you will be welcome at the fire of any tribe. Learn and practice a very general, gracious response to questions. It usually goes along the lines of "We think that homeschooling is the best thing for us right now."
2. Be equal parts open to change and firm in your decision.
3. Recognize that your reasons for homeschooling may change from year to year and from child to child (this is why #1 and #2 are so important).
4. Recognize that your compelling reason for homeschooling can and should determine, or at least influence, most of your homeschooling decisions. If you're homeschooling largely for religious reasons, do not become so overhwlemed with academics that you are forced to stay home and do homework instead of attending Wednesday evening youth group. If you're homeschooling primarily so that you can take advantage of amazing opportunities for traveling with a family member, you will want to avoid enrolling in so many activities that you can only leave the state one day a week. ASK ME HOW I KNOW THESE THINGS. I bet you can guess the answer.
5. Stay true to yourself and your reasons to homeschool, but please at least consider choosing your path with the knowledge that there may come a time when your student transitions into a traditional school. Much, much more on this topic, as well, but another day, another time.
6. Above all, make sure your reasons for homeschooling are your reasons. Ultimately, you owe no one an explanation or apology for your decision as to why you homeschool. (You may, however, at some point owe someone, especially your child, an explanation or apology for not carrying out that decision with integrity, but that's another story.)
Next in the series, Part 2 of 2: How do you homeschool?